KEEPING CHRIST IN YOUR CHRISTIAN DATING RELATIONSHIP:

25 Christian Articles for Christian Singles.

25 Christian Articles for Christian Dating.

Finding the Will of God and Making godly Decisions

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Five Great Ways to Ruin a Christian Dating Relationship

Sometimes, even in happy Christian dating relationships, opportunities or misunderstandings arise that allow the love relationship to get ruined. If you want to keep your Christian dating relationships happy, you may want to avoid doing these five things.

1. Ignore your Christian dating partner whom God so graciously brought into your life.

No one likes to be ignored, especially by their dating partner. Therefore, if you ignore your partner, you can be sure that you are hurting your love relationship.

People ignore others for different reasons. Sometimes, people ignore others on accident. They may have ADD, which prevents a person from focusing on one thing for too long. Other times, People ignore others because of bitterness or anger or a lack of forgiveness or past hurts. Even if your Christian dating partner did something to anger you, you must do everything you can to diminish your anger and allow yourself to think optimistically, full of faith and love. “Forgive as Christ Jesus forgave you…”

2. Be jealous.

“Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy” Proverbs 27:4

Sometimes, jealousy is justifiable – usually because of past incidents of unfaithfulness or dishonesty. However, many times people are jealous for petty reasons. Being jealous often can really hurt Christian dating relationships, especially if your dating partner is trying his or her hardest to not give you a reason to be jealous. Some people are just naturally friendly to everyone, don’t get jealous if your gregarious Christian dating partner shows kindness and friendliness toward all people (even your perceived or imagined rivals). Be the bigger person, look at a persons motives not just their actions. An unintended slight gives you a chance to put your dating partner and your relationship above your own feelings of being hurt.

You may have to come to a point where you decide that you will either not allow yourself to be jealous over small things, or you will end your relationship. Relationships can not flourish in the midst of jealousy. Remember: love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7

3. Put things above your partner.

If you are in an ongoing Christian dating relationship, you must reorganize your priorities. Of course, right below your relationship with and commitment to Christ, your relationship with and commitment to your Christian dating partner should be the highest priority; however, many people (even Christians) don’t do this. Instead, they give material things, money and work a higher priority.

Though many things are important, such as family and work, you must still carefully decide what or who you give your attention to and at what times. There will be times when work must come first (after all, your dating partner would not want you to get fired!) , but then there are many times when your relationship with and commitment to your Christian dating partner should come first. Many people choose work and friends over their dating partner more than they should. Depending on how serious your relationship is, it is a good practice to always put people ahead of things, especially when it comes to honoring your commitments to your Christian dating partner.

Also, practice prudent body language, whether intentional or unintentional, practicing bad body language says a lot about you and your Christian dating relationship. Maintain eye contact while talking to your dating partner. For example, sit close to him or her in church, hold hands, keep things comfortable and relaxed, don’t smother them. Also, don’t get agitated or act nervous. Make them feel comfortable and you will hopefully end up making yourself feel comfortable as well. Speak and act as if you are confidently trusting the Holy One who holds all things together and controls all things and works all things for “good”! Prudent body language includes how you dress and act, but it goes for verbal communication as well, keep your conversations “uplifting” and always think of ways to build your dating partner up, never tear them down. If you are ever in a bad mood or just having a bad day (or even a bad week) always ask yourself “what would Jesus do or say?”

4. Tell lies.

It goes without saying, lies will always hurt a relationship, even if they are small lies. If you habitually lie, your Christian dating partner will wonder what other lies you have told him or her. They may also begin to question whether you are indeed saved or not.

You must be aware of everything you say. Do not mislead your partner or deliberately lie to them. If you are caught in a lie, say your sorry right then and there! Even if it is a misunderstanding, clarify what you meant to say or confess to the lie! It could break any trust your partner has for you. Trust is hard to build and easy to destroy, especially if your Christian dating partner has been hurt or lied to in the past.

5. Go behind your Christian dating partner’s back.

This can be something as simple as checking their text messages or email. Going behind your Christian dating partner’s back indicates that you do not trust them. Just like the second point, if there is no trust in a relationship, it can not flourish. Moreover, if your Christian dating partner has never given you a reason not to trust them, going behind their back will hurt the love relationship even more.

It may be hard, especially if you have been hurt in your current or past relationships, but you must give your Christian dating partner the benefit of the doubt. If they are committing an act of unfaithfulness or dishonesty, it will be known in time. For the moment, just allow yourself to trust your dating partner. Most of all, trust in God and your relationship will blossom and grow.

Enjoy your Christian dating relationship like the gift that it is! “For every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

More Jesus, Less Religion: Moving from Rules to Relationship
by Stephen Arterburn, Jack Felton