CHRISTIAN SINGLES ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES

Christian singles involved in online Christian dating services are in desperate need of someone to remind members of these Christian dating sites to pay attention to what is love, and what is not. The most common misconception among Christian singles is that love is feelings and a heightened excitement caused through the presence of another single Christian. While it could be infatuation, lust, or self-indulgence, the experience or condition that many Christian singles refer to as love is exactly the opposite of love.

How can Christian singles tell if they are in love or having another experience? It is really much easier than many realize. Let’s consider several ways to confirm if it is love, or a self-serving experience:

· Where is your desires place in this experience? If you are honest and find that the basis of the experience is coming from a place of pleasure then it is not love.

· If the focus is on initiating activity with other Christian singles that ends up making you feel good or excited, it is not love.

· If you are not sacrificing or giving up something for the sake of another single Christian or their well being, it is not love.

· You are not able to spend a balanced period of time by yourself in your own activities but must see, hear, or touch the other single Christian – it is not love.

· If you are required to too often be giving in to the wishes of the other other single Christian, it is not love.

· If you are staying in the relationship because you fear you will not find another, it is not love.

There is the thrill of a new Christian dating relationship, or just in meeting other single Christians of the opposite sex during an initial period. This thrill is not love either but the strong human drive to be connected with another.

Love is a commitment built upon trust, proven over time to build compatibility and mutually serving interest and growth. It seeks the best possible conditions for the other person’s benefit, sometimes at one’s own expense. It is not selfish, crying for attention, and complaining when things do not go their way. See 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

Christian singles need to realize that love is not always fun. The real test of love comes when mutual hardships are shared and used to deepen the relationship. If a couple has not experience any challenges in their relationship, they have not arrived at the point of realism that is a cornerstone to love. It is in the hardships that love begins to mold the two into a relationship.

Love is a wonder and the fruit of commitment, diligence, and grace under testing.

The next time Christian singles feel like allowing themselves to say “love,” they should consider what “love” really is and treat it for what it is and do not fantasize something that will take Christian singles away from what Christian singles are really seeking.

Related Christian articles for singles: Christian Singles, are you feeling isolated? And: Christian Singles: Hurting people hurt others! And: Advice for Christian Singles: some Christian singles are asking "Please, God, Give me a break?" And: Advice for Christian Singles: Should a single Christian woman let a single Christian man know she is interested? And: Dear Pastor Jim: "Do you expect all Christian singles who want to be married to be happy being single?" And: Christian Dating: "Dear Christian Singles, what Criteria Do You Use for Dating other Christians?" And: Christian Singles, are you Getting the Same Results? And: Is Christianity An Excuse for Christian Singles to Be Passive? And: Finding the Will of God and Making godly Decisions

In His love,
Pastor Jim