CHRISTIAN SINGLES ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES

This is not a Biblical question, but allow me to share some thoughts.

Cultures dictate how men and women relate to one another. Social interactions in our societies have changed in recent years and the distinction between men and women has become confused, yes, even among single Christians. For example:

· Do you open a door for every woman, or wait to get a hint?

· Do you offer to pay for the meal when out with a woman friend, or go ahead and pay the bill?

A recent email from a single Christian woman asked the question regarding is it okay to show an interest in a single Christian man. Some Christian men would love it, others might be taken back by it. Confusing times for all! Is there a way to show an interest without being too forward? I think that there is.

My counsel to this single Christian woman was to find some way to engage in conversation with this man at an event (they attend the same singles group at church). When the conversation ends, make a statement something like “I enjoyed talking with you. Hope we can have another opportunity soon to talk some more.” This is a way of showing interest, but not being aggressive to a point that might turn off some men.

I suspect that many of you single Christian women, using the Internet dating service do not have a problem expressing your interest to single Christian men on the service. At least this is the feedback that I have received. But you might have difficulty doing the same thing to a man that you suddenly meet in a social setting. Consider something like the above to see if an interest develops on his part.

There is one primary premise upon which all interaction must be based – whether you are the man or the woman. Whatever you do be sure that it shows respect and values the other person. Leave no doubt in your words and deeds that this is paramount for you as you relate to others.

Oh yes, who should pay for the meal? Well I have a suggestion there too. The man should say something to the woman like this, “I came prepared to pay for the meal, is that okay with you?” This way the man is taking the lead and most women like this. If she is not feeling secure or is more independent, this approach will give her the options that she needs to feel safe and valued.

May God bless you and lead you in your interactions with Christian singles whether they be single Christian men or single Christian women.

Related Christian articles for singles: Christian Singles, are you feeling isolated? And: Christian Singles: Hurting people hurt others! And: Advice for Christian Singles: some Christian singles are asking "Please, God, Give me a break?" And: Christian Singles: "Is it love?" And: Dear Pastor Jim: "Do you expect all Christian singles who want to be married to be happy being single?" And: Christian Dating: "Dear Christian Singles, what Criteria Do You Use for Dating other Christians?" And: Christian Singles, are you Getting the Same Results? And: Is Christianity An Excuse for Christian Singles to Be Passive? And: Finding the Will of God and Making godly Decisions

In His love,
Pastor Jim