CHRISTIAN SINGLES ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES
An email was received recently from a single Christian woman affirming my ministry, but stating that her response to reading many of my articles is that I “expect” Christian singles who desire to be married to be happy. Hmmm…emails like this are good for me and cause me to ponder the question and affirm my thoughts.
Happiness means different things to different people. What makes one person happy could make another person very sad. I do have my “opinions” but believe that a question like this is best answered when we go to the “road guide” that God inspired for us His Word.
There are three scriptures that come to mind to help Christian singles understand God's view of happiness:
James 1: 2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
Hebrews 13: 5-6 “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" (These verses follow comments on marriage.)
Phillippians 4: 11-13 “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.“
Life has MANY challenges. For many Christian singles the fact that they are not married makes them very sad and depressed. I do not say that Christian singles should ignore their feelings or mask them. My recommendation is to deal honestly with where you are but realize that wherever you are, you can find contentment.
It is certainly not wrong for Christian singles to want to be married. In fact the desire is one that I understand is given to us by our Creator. The fact is that not all of us are married nor will all Christian singles be getting married.
Now, what do Christian singles do?
The “point” behind my articles and my solid belief is that to dwell on what we do not have (marriage or whatever) develops an obsession. It allows the situation or circumstance to get out of proportion and become an unhealthy aspect of our lives.
Here is a reality that I would like for you to ponder. It is my belief that many Christian singles are hindering their opportunity to ever be married through a negative attitude. Is life fair? There is no scripture or law by anyone that says life is to be fair. Not happy about your circumstance? What can you do about it?
Life is made up of choice upon choice. What Christian singles choose to do about their situation IS their free choice. No, Christian singles cannot force a marriage to happen. But you can choose how you will relate to the circumstance you are in.
My encouragement to you, wherever you are, is to find a way to process “through” your circumstance in a healthy way. Mature Christian friends/family, pastors, counselors are great ones to ask for guidance and input to process through your situation.
Happy the verses that I shared do not use the words “happy.” However, they do state “count it all joy” and “be content.”
I close with one more scripture that I hope Christian singles will embrace for living. It is found in 1 Cor. 10:13. “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”
Related Christian articles for singles: Christian Singles, are you feeling isolated? And: Christian Singles: Hurting people hurt others! And: Advice for Christian Singles: some Christian singles are asking "Please, God, Give me a break?" And: Advice for Christian Singles: Should a single Christian woman let a single Christian man know she is interested? And: Christian Singles: "Is it love?" And: Christian Dating: "Dear Christian Singles, what Criteria Do You Use for Dating other Christians?" And: Christian Singles, are you Getting the Same Results? And: Is Christianity An Excuse for Christian Singles to Be Passive? And: Finding the Will of God and Making godly Decisions
It is my prayer that God will lead and Christian singles will follow to the peace and joy that their spirits so desire.
In His love,
Note: The answers provided in this site are intended to be as one provided by a minister. It is NOT intended to take the place of a licensed counselor. Dr. Rives encourages all who are seeking to resolve deeply rooted psychological, emotional or behavioral needs to seek the services of a trained and licensed counselor. The answers provided in this web site are intended to be words of encouragement and spiritual guidance as one would obtain from a licensed minister as well as the sharing of Dr Rives personal experience. Articles by Dr. Jim Rives used with permission, copyright © 2001-2009 JacobsMinistry.org Inc. (Arizona Non-Profit Corporation) All rights reserved.