CHRISTIAN SINGLES ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES

The following words were received in an email from a single Christian woman:

“I'm surprised at how many single Christian men can be so desperate to find a single Christian woman (I can't speak of women's desperation because I'm not being chased by women). Most single Christian men seem to be hoping to find a single Christian woman to fill a void within themselves that only Christ can fill... lover of our souls.”

Single Christian Men – how do single Christian women relating to you find your behavior? Do you realize that your words and behavior are huge signs that you are putting out to single Christian women you meet to be dating or even a mate?

Single Christian Women – what is driving your behavior? Are you dealing with a “force” that is driving you to find a single Christian man to be dating or even to be your mate?

There are “natural” forces within us that compel us to find companionship, and often a mate. God created these drives and they are certainly a part of the inner being of single Christian men and women. However, when we do not keep discipline in our lives, these forces develop their own self-serving appetites that demand feeding.

If single Christian men and women find themselves dealing with this force (or forces), I encourage them to take some time to step back from dating. Such behavior often leads to devastating results for all parties involved.

Think you are old enough to know what is best for you? If you are tackling dating without an accountability group, you are begging for trouble. Many single Christian men and women will not arrive at the desired destination, but will realize a big dose of the very pain and loneliness that they are rushing to replace with a Christian dating relationship.

Single Christian men and women should please consider the following if they find this force controlling them:

1. Only Christ can fully “satisfy” your innermost needs.

2. Find 1 or 2 Christians of the same gender and form an accountability group. They can be a great resource and counsel for you. The intimacy that comes from “buddies” satisfies many of the longings that we have.

3. Single Christian men and women should consider seeing a Christian counselor. Every counselor I know states that one should become as healthy as possible before entertaining dating. The void you are hurrying to fill is likely a “bomb” in disguise. A counselor can help you dismantle the bomb before it explodes in your life, and perhaps the life of the single Christian man or woman you are dating who does not deserve it.

May God’s Spirit speak to single Christian men and women in His loving and compelling way, guiding single Christians to discern what it is best for them.

Related Christian articles for singles: Christian Singles, Accept Yourself and others will too! Also read: Christian singles need not remain loaded down with shame and guilt. Also read: Only God’s Spirit can comfort and guide Christian singles through the difficult times of life. And maybe read: When Christian singles make wise choices for a fresh start, God is faithful to give single Christians what is on their heart. And: Should single Christians compare themselves to other Christian singles? And: "Single life is not fun for me. How does God expect me to be happy?" And: There are many different types of singles who profess to be "Christians." And: What are “blockages” that can negatively affect the lives of Christian's singles?

In His love,
Pastor Jim