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Advice for Christian Singles: "Single life is not fun for me. How does God expect me to be happy?"

CHRISTIAN SINGLES ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES

Many Christian singles find themselves single after many years of wanting to be married or at least in a meaningful Christian dating relationship. The more years that go by seem to generate more voices saying that something is wrong and yet, there seems to be nothing that Christian singles can do about it.

Every human goes through times when they find themselves not where they want to be. When the attention focuses on loneliness, rejection, or just not finding a mate, this condition can really began to take its toll on Christian singles.

I do not want to minimize this feeling by saying that it is trivial – for it is not. If it is not properly addressed by Christian singles, it can lead to depression and finding oneself walking with a heavy heart.

The Apostle Paul shares one of the most important instructions in the Bible in his letter to the Philippians 4:11-13: “Not that I speak from want: for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstance I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both in having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

How do Christian singles move from where they are in despair/challenge to being content? Here are some thoughts and I invite Christian singles to entertain this to see how God is leading them for finding contentment in your life:

· The first thing is for Christian singles to recognize where the negative voices in their lives are coming from. It could be Satan in a direct manner, but more likely something from your past is still playing out in your life.

· Christian singles should never forget the power that they have available to them in the Holy Spirit. Spend time in prayer, Bible Study and with good Christian friends seeking to find how you should be filling your life. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.

· Christian singles should set aside time to think about all the things in life that they would like to do and/or accomplish that are positive and will bring them fulfillment. Build a plan to begin doing this – one by one, step by step as you move toward being all that you (and God) want to be.

· Christian singles should recognize that good perspective is more often than not a “choice”. There is the old statement that the one who says the glass is half empty and the one who says it is half full are both right. Christian singles, you are blessed out of this world in being a child of the King! Focus on what He has and is doing for you.

· Christian singles should begin to build friendships with members of the same gender. Intimacy comes from deep friendships that become real, mutual treasures.

· If they find that you cannot turn around your despair in being single, Christian singles should seek the counsel of a Pastor or good Christian counselor to help guide them. Good counselors are another of God’s blessings. Many people are “called” to serve as guides to others who need a little help in finding their way.

· Christian singles should seek to find a local church that has a very active Singles ministry. Remember that these Christian singles will be like you – not perfect people but other Christian singles just like you who are seeking to find the truth and community.

· Christian singles, you should set out to meet other singles' needs and be there for them as you desire them to be there for you.

· Remember in all things to put your expectations on God and not other Christian singles.

My point is for Christian singles to get busy filling their lives with good activities, education and the type of people you want to have around them. Be the kind of person that others want to be around and watch it rub off on others.

Related Christian articles for singles: Christian Singles, Accept Yourself and others will too! Also read: Christian singles need not remain loaded down with shame and guilt.
Also read: Only God’s Spirit can comfort and guide Christian singles through the difficult times of life. And maybe read: When Christian singles make wise choices for a fresh start, God is faithful to give single Christians what is on their heart. And: Any desperate singles? And: Should single Christians compare themselves to other Christian singles? And: There are many different types of singles who profess to be "Christians." And: What are “blockages” that can negatively affect the lives of Christian's singles?

May God guide you and all Christian singles in this adventure to days filled with joy and peace.

In His love,
Pastor Jim

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Note: The answers provided in this site are intended to be as one provided by a minister. It is NOT intended to take the place of a licensed counselor. Dr. Rives encourages all who are seeking to resolve deeply rooted psychological, emotional or behavioral needs to seek the services of a trained and licensed counselor. The answers provided in this web site are intended to be words of encouragement and spiritual guidance as one would obtain from a licensed minister as well as the sharing of Dr Rives personal experience. Articles by Dr. Jim Rives used with permission, copyright © 2001-2008 JacobsMinistry.org Inc. (Arizona Non-Profit Corporation) All rights reserved.


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