CHRISTIAN SINGLES ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES
Now that is a very good question for Christian Singles!
The church that I attend is going through the book of Acts. It is a book rich with history about the early church its exploding growth and its challenges. I cannot help but think about the ministry to Christian singles as I listen to these messages. There are so many lessons for Christian singles to be understood.
One such lesson for Christian singles can be drawn from the words in Acts 6. Allow me to set the stage a little first. The “church” had been exploding with thousands of new people joining every day. These new members came from many walks of life and many different cultures. A dispute arose between the “native” Hebrew Christians and the “Hellenistic” Jews over caring for the widows. The point is that they were making a comparison. Do you know any Christian singles who make comparison. Truth is, we all do it.
Comparisons can have a meaningful basis to them. In the positive sense, comparisons can be used to help Christian singles understand where they need to grow. However and unfortunately, comparison is too often used by Christian singles in the negative sense. Let me describe some ways Christian singles have used comparisons:
- When Christian singles are unhappy with their current situation, comparisons are often used to support a point of their unhappiness.
- Everyone else is in a family situation and happy
- Everyone else is healthy or better off financially than I am
- Other Christian singles can easily get Christian dating relationships
- Other Christian singles are having fun but not me
- Other Christian singles have things that I do not have (cars, homes, jobs, etc.)
When Christian singles are enjoying sinful behavior, they can find ample comparisons to other Christian singles who are in the same activity:
- Other Christian singles practice this behavior and nothing bad happens to them
- It feels good and is the best way that I can be “normal” and accepted by other Christian singles.
- I am tired of my old life and not enjoying things as other Christian singles do
The usual first step to stopping healthy growth in the lives of Christian singles is to begin the game of comparison. No matter what you compare to, you will find other Christian singles to support your position and always find other Christian singles that appear better off than you do. Comparing ourselves to others is not a wise practice.
What should Christian singles do? I suggest that there are three comparisons that can serve Christian singles well in their journey toward peace and joy:
The first comparison for Christian singles is “are you reaching for the best you can be?” Each of us has at least one area or more where we can grow. The better that we focus on becoming as healthy and complete as we can be in every area in our lives, the quicker we will discover the best out of life.
Are Christian singles all that God encourages them to be? Comparison to His measuring guides as outlined in the Bible is the best comparison of all for Christian singles. His principles are not laws meant for destruction, but ones that will develop the life that honors Him and Christian singles as well.
I do suggest that Christian singles find those who are more mature or achieved than Christian singles are in a certain area of their lives. Christian singles should seek to learn why this mentor is so accomplished in this area and learn from their example and principles. No one is totally complete within themselves and do not set a mentor up on a pedestal. However, it is good for Christian singles to “model” themselves along their mentor's positive lines.
The words of Paul come to mind in Philippians 4: 11-13 “Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled with going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”
Christian singles should not get caught up in the unhealthy aspects of comparison. Focus on what you can become and ask God for the strength and wisdom to become this. Other comparisons only serve to “drain your battery” and guide Christian singles down the wrong path to the peace and joy that they are seeking.
Related Christian articles for singles: Christian Singles, Accept Yourself and others will too! Also read: Christian singles need not remain loaded down with shame and guilt. Also read: Only God’s Spirit can comfort and guide Christian singles through the difficult times of life. And maybe read: When Christian singles make wise choices for a fresh start, God is faithful to give single Christians what is on their heart. And: "Single life is not fun for me. How does God expect me to be happy?" And: There are many different types of singles who profess to be "Christians." And: What are “blockages” that can negatively affect the lives of Christian's singles?
In His love,
Note: The answers provided in this site are intended to be as one provided by a minister. It is NOT intended to take the place of a licensed counselor. Dr. Rives encourages all who are seeking to resolve deeply rooted psychological, emotional or behavioral needs to seek the services of a trained and licensed counselor. The answers provided in this web site are intended to be words of encouragement and spiritual guidance as one would obtain from a licensed minister as well as the sharing of Dr Rives personal experience. Articles by Dr. Jim Rives used with permission, copyright © 2001-2009 JacobsMinistry.org Inc. (Arizona Non-Profit Corporation) All rights reserved.