CHRISTIAN SINGLES ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES
What is the definition of Christian singles, anyway? The Bible shares that there is only one way that each of us can become a Child of God, or what most commonly is called a Christian. Ephesians 2:8-10 is one set of verses that clearly show that it is by faith we accept Christ and not by any one’s works. Those who have accepted Christ, and Christ alone, are adopted into His family.
There are some who “call” themselves Christians or Christian singles that are actually not believers. Many of these Christian singles think that they are saved, but it is like “adopting” a way of life without embracing the commitment of faith that the Bible outlines for all of us. It is never something we deserve because of our parents, our religion, or our works.
As one interacts on “Christian” dating services with Christian singles, they need to be wise and realize that not all those active on such a Christian dating service are actually Christians or Christian singles. There are “some” that use Christian dating sites because they believe that Christians make good mates. This is a dangerous proposition for a vulnerable Christian single adult that hungers to find a mate. Often these “non-believers” can be very attractive and have some wonderful traits. However, the Bible is clear that we are not to connect with unbelievers in love relationships. I refer you to an article that I wrote previously on this subject of Christian singles and unbelievers.
There are two other “types” of Christians or Christian singles that come to mind that I wish to offer some advice:
1. The Christian or Christian single who is really a Christian, but chooses to be guided by the standards of the world.
a. These Christian singles will often use loose interpretation of the Bible to fit into the style of life these Christian singles selfishly desire.
b. My experience has shown that this type of person is an active hunter on the Christian dating services. These Christian singles “use” people just as they “use” the Bible to satisfy themselves.
c. While each of us has to wrestle with “fleshly” desires, I encourage you to distance yourself from Christian singles who intentionally and without remorse take this path of self-centeredness.
2. Another type of Christians or Christian singles that trouble me greatly is a believer that knows the Word of God intensely and quotes line and verse to everyone in contact in a selfish effort to control. I receive email after email stating that they are being bombarded by Christian singles “using scripture” to support their approach to relationships. It is not just a suggestion, but also a strong, forceful use of power and manipulation. To these control-freak Christian singles you must see it their way or you are just wrong!
Stand back for a moment when you meet Christian singles as I have described above. Do you really want to place yourself in such a situation? The above examples of Christian singles are hopefully “unequally yoked” to your values and goals as a Believer. I realize that finding and building relationships is often not an easy task. However, to choose to drop God’s standards and go on your own is inviting big trouble.
True Christian singles who humbly walk in the power and love of our Lord Jesus Christ are a very valuable asset to God, to the rest of us believers, and to this world. True Christian singles, please do not loose your way or taint your value by making small choices that can turn into drastic, painful adventures. Hug God in prayer and spirit as you wrestle for the choice things in life.
Related Christian articles for singles: Christian Singles, Accept Yourself and others will too! Also read: Christian singles need not remain loaded down with shame and guilt. Also read: Only God’s Spirit can comfort and guide Christian singles through the difficult times of life. And maybe read: When Christian singles make wise choices for a fresh start, God is faithful to give single Christians what is on their heart. And: Any desperate singles? And: Should single Christians compare themselves to other Christian singles? And: "Single life is not fun for me. How does God expect me to be happy?" And: What are “blockages” that can negatively affect the lives of Christian's singles?
In His love,
Note: The answers provided in this site are intended to be as one provided by a minister. It is NOT intended to take the place of a licensed counselor. Dr. Rives encourages all who are seeking to resolve deeply rooted psychological, emotional or behavioral needs to seek the services of a trained and licensed counselor. The answers provided in this web site are intended to be words of encouragement and spiritual guidance as one would obtain from a licensed minister as well as the sharing of Dr Rives personal experience. Articles by Dr. Jim Rives used with permission, copyright © 2001-2009 JacobsMinistry.org Inc. (Arizona Non-Profit Corporation) All rights reserved.