Life keeps repeating cycles. Our efforts are expended in huge doses with the desire for a significant change, but we end up with the same results. Christian singles, are you pleased with the results of your efforts? I invite Christian singles to consider a thought that could change your perspective in how you view other Christian singles.

For many Christian singles dating in today’s world has become more about attraction and feelings than substance. God created beauty and certainly wants us to enjoy it. However, when beauty becomes a god and is sought after and worshiped above all else it moves out of God’s design.

This is very true when applied to connecting with other Christian singles to build relationships. Where in this world did we flip a switch and think that relationships can and should be treated like microwave ovens? Building relationships is an art form that comes out of effort and practice. It does not “just happen.”

Christian singles have been tricked or seduced into meat market mentality. The consideration is totally focused on the surface features of other Christian singles and internal gratification. The primary consideration being used by most Christian singles today is that one must register high on their beauty scale or they are not worthy of a moment of consideration. This is not only shallow but also stupid. (I do not use that word often but it really applies in this case.)

Many Christian singles have allowed the elements of attraction to become the total picture of any consideration. Attraction is a wonderful ingredient of a healthy relationship, but does not always appear in the first moments of contact. I know of many Christian singles in wonderful relationships that were not attracted to each other in initial contacts. Fortunately they used a more mature approach in getting to know other Christian singles. The process is what allowed both attraction and love to surface and mature.

What leads your consideration as you relate to other Christian singles?

Christian singles, I believe that this is one of the major contributors to the high divorce rate, especially for second marriages. There is a rush to fill the void and bring comfort and excitement that the essential elements of love are ignored during the flash to the wedding line. The couple soon awakens to find that there is little if any love in the relationship. The only connections built in the relationship were superficial relating to attraction and feelings. This shallowness will not sustain a relationship and is not my definition of love.

Love is a process of getting to know and experiencing differences as well as similarities. It takes time to surface and build a solid foundation. Without such a foundation there is little chance of realizing the much desired love and romance that many Christian singles seek.

The Bible has a wonderful chapter about love. I invite Christian singles to read 1Corinthians 13 to find out the elements of real love. Related Christian articles for singles: Christian Dating Advice & Safety And: Do you know about the “Peacock Syndrome” in Dating Single Christians? And: Christian dating: "What are the “NORMAL” stages in dating for Christian singles?" And: "What about Christian Dating and Signals?" And: In Christian Dating is Chemistry important or not? And: Christian Singles, are you Getting the Same Results?

Wake up and move toward realizing the fullness, joy, and love in life that God desires for you. May God silence the voices that are leading Christian singles down a different and unsatisfying path.

In His love,
Pastor Jim