Sometimes it is just plane scary for Christian singles to initiate a Christian dating relationship. Fear of rejection is very real. One of the hardest things to figure out is why some Christian singles get rejected in Christian dating. What vibes or signals are you sending out even before you start dating?
If you are alive and breathing you are sending out signals. These signals are much like radio signals in that the human eye cannot see them, but they can certainly be felt. Where did the signals come from and how do they impact our lives? I am glad that you asked!
First allow me to share some illustrations of “signals” that I have experienced in relating to Christian singles. Some things become very apparent within a few minutes of relating to Christian singles who are interested in Christian dating:
- if they are aggressively seeking a mate
- how they feel about themselves
- if they have a sense of hope and purpose
- that they have been taken advantage of by someone and likely to be hurt again in their next Christian dating encounters
- whether or not they have an inner guidance system or are the result of a free-for-all life
These and many other signals are very apparent to others some more than others.
Do most Christian singles know what signals they are sending out? Perhaps you are asking for trouble? It could be that your signals are repelling others and keeping you from connecting, as you deeply desire. I suggest that it is very important to discover what signals you are sending out and whether or not they are making a positive contribution to your life.
Signals as I am using the term are those nonverbal fields of energy and force which we emanate from deep within our being. It may change your facial expression, your posture, body language, or the way you walk and talk. These signals had their origin in our thoughts that “chose” to repeat the thoughts over and over. The repetition serves as a diet to our spirits, and over time (usually about four or more weeks) our spirits begin to believe what they are being fed. It makes no difference whether or not it is the truth, the spirit only knows that this is consuming your thoughts and embraces that this is what you wish to happen. The result is that the spirit generates the signals that go out to the world about Christian singles like you and into the hearts and minds of other Christian singles you would like as potential Christian dating partners. This silent element of our lives is many times more powerful than the visible world that we experience. It is a major contribution to whether or not you will experience healthy and fulfilling relationships.
Awareness is the first key to understanding your signals. Consider what consumes your thoughts most of the time. Where is it that your mind likes to dwell and keep playing the record over and over again? Is this a positive or negative thing? Whichever it is determines the diet that Christian singles are feeding their spirit and providing the fuel for negative or positive signals.
This is one of the most significant keys to understanding much of life. Understanding this key will allow you to realize some significant, positive changes in your experiences with other Christian singles. While it may not change the entire negative into positive, it will bring peace and inner joy as you have these experiences with other Christian singles.
God’s love for you and the value that he places on your life is the foundation for approaching your signals. God created you and it is through him that you and I can gain real wisdom and the power and understanding to find the keys for successful living.
This article is meant to serve as a button to cause Christian singles to stop and think about the signals that Christian singles are sending out.
God wants Christian singles to be free and living life to the fullness he created Christian singles to experience not only in Christian dating but in every relationship. John 8:32 Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you."
Related Christian articles for singles: Christian Dating: "A single Christian that I think God has sent to be my mate does not agree, or does not know that I exist. What am I to do?" And: Christian Dating Advice & Safety And: Christian singles, Beauty Has all to do with dating, but little to do with love! And: Do you know about the “Peacock Syndrome” in Dating Single Christians? And: Christian dating: "What are the “NORMAL” stages in dating for Christian singles?" And: In Christian Dating is Chemistry important or not? And: Christian Dating: What do you think about dating multiple people? And: Christian Dating: Do you believe in “soul mates”? And: Christian Singles, are you Getting the Same Results?
In His love,
Back to Table of Contents: Christian Dating Articles
Note: The answers provided in this site are intended to be as one provided by a minister. It is NOT intended to take the place of a licensed counselor. Dr. Rives encourages all who are seeking to resolve deeply rooted psychological, emotional or behavioral needs to seek the services of a trained and licensed counselor. The answers provided in this web site are intended to be words of encouragement and spiritual guidance as one would obtain from a licensed minister as well as the sharing of Dr Rives personal experience. Articles by Dr. Jim Rives used with permission, copyright © 2001-2009 JacobsMinistry.org Inc. (Arizona Non-Profit Corporation) All rights reserved.