CHRISTIAN DATING ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES

I recently made the comment to a friend," that I didn't feel that sex outside of marriage was acceptable to God. That God had a purpose for people having sex and that sex for recreation wasn't accepted." I was told God isn't that strict and it was recommended that I talk to a pastor, so what can you tell me.

The above email was received this week and I suspect that it applies to many other Christian singles engaged in Christian dating. "God is a wonderful loving God and wants His children to enjoy themselves – right? He is not about rules and regulations but about experiencing life to the fullest." Is this your thinking? It seems to be the thinking of many other Christian singles engaged in Christian dating.

For other Christian singles engaged in Christian dating, I realize that the underpinning of this thinking relate too much more than a question about sex. It has to do with a personal belief system and how one relates to the truth. I find this way of thinking to be very prevalent in our societies.

The response to such a question must go to a point of foundation. It is not a matter of what we want to believe or would like to believe, but it must be founded in the truth. The following truths are found both in the Bible and in my personal walk:

God did not create sin. His plan was for you and I to live in a Garden of Eden with an abundance of life and joy. However, to be able to make us in His image, He had to create us with freewill/choice. Otherwise we would be “things” and more like robots without any choice.

Out of our freewill/choice, Adam and Eve allowed their focus to move to the one thing that they did not have versus the zillion things that they did have and enjoy. This was the first move to the “have not” village and the results are what you and I experience every day. Let me be quick to add that it is not the choice of Adam or Eve that convicts us of our sin, but our own personal choices and self-centeredness.

The result of this sin allowed the influence and power of Satan to come to bear on our lives. In the Garden of Eden (as it will be in Heaven) I believe that there was no illness, no death, and no toil. The sad reality is that now Satan has great power in this world. Rest assured that there are many supernatural spirits present in this world who are connected with Satan and not of God. These are the demons of disease, death, and destruction. Because of freewill, we invite Satan to work in our lives.

People have tried since Adam and Eve to place God in a box. The attempt is made to see God within one’s own understanding, experiences, and desires. God is not in a box and will not be placed into one. Isaiah 55:8 tells us "I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work."

With this foundation, let’s move to what God really says very clearly about sexual activity for Christian singles engaged in Christian dating . The Apostle Paul uses the word “fornication” when describing sexual sin. Fornication is defined as any sexual activity outside of marriage. The Message translates Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 6:18 “There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another.

Recreational sex is a widely accepted practice – even among many Christian singles engaged in Christian dating . This view says that God made our sexual appetites and there is no harm in mutual consent sexual activity. Not only does Paul/God clearly state that it is a sin (outside of God’s will), it causes us harm. How so?

The US Center for Disease Control web site tells us that 1 out of 5 adolescents and adults in the US have genital herpes. http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm. I invite Christian singles engaged in Christian dating to read my article that I have written on this topic entitled: What all Christian singles REALLY need to know! There is a direct disease connection to the practice of recreation sex, yes, even among Christian singles engaged in Christian dating.

No one will dispute the high divorce rate that we have today even among Christians. I believe that this is another illustration in how recreational sex and the general application of selfish desires has a negative impact on our lives. God intended sex for two reasons: (1) procreation; and, (2) the ongoing connection of two become one flesh in marriage. For other Christian singles engaged in Christian dating to practice recreational sex is to play games with our inner spirit by feeding it a diet of voices that say, “this is the one” – no – “this is the one” – no – “this one is now the one.” The fact is that then Christian singles engaged in Christian dating loose touch with reality and become incapable of discerning when we are in the presence of a real, potential relationship that leads to marriage.

Recreational sex only serves a selfish purpose. It is not about valuing the other person as a whole person but as an object of desire. It ignores the other ingredients so essential in building a healthy and fulfilling relationship. I see it more like one that insists on eating a diet completely of sugar and then wondering why they do not have the strength and stamina for enjoying life. It is so askew to one element of a relationship that it destroys the other elements. I have yet to find any Christian singles engaged in Christian dating that practice recreational sex be able to focus on the deeper elements of a Christian dating relationship in a healthy manner. Once sex enters the picture it takes over the Christian dating relationship and everything is dictated by how it might affect the sex life. This sets into motion the actions that destroy relationships for Christian singles engaged in serious Christian dating.

There is more and I invite you to begin an earnest study of the truth and how it applies to recreational sex. God has not changed His mind. Truth is not altered by desire or wishes on the part of Christian singles engaged in Christian dating. Truth is still the truth and God is all about the truth that will set us free.

I pray that God uses this to encourage all Christian singles engaged in Christian dating to make choices that move them toward the joy and fulfillment they are seeking and away from those choices that imprison and set Christian singles into a spiraling, confusing, disappointing direction. Christian dating can only be blessed by God when Christian singles obey God.

Related Christian articles for singles: And: "Should Christian singles engaged in Christian dating have sex while dating to be sure they are compatible before marriage?" And: Passions and Christian Singles And: Sex defined by God for Christian Singles Also: Premarital sex, what is, and is not, permissible in sexual behavior for Christian singles engaged in Christian dating? And be sure you read: What every single Christian REALLY needs to know! (about sexually transmitted diseases) And: Christian singles and masterbation.

In His love,
Pastor Jim

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