CHRISTIAN DATING ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES

Our world has certainly “shrunk” in recent years. Travel and communication not only make it easy to be in contact with other parts of the world easily, it has also increased migration from one part of the world to another. The Internet has greatly contributed to “connecting” individuals from a variety of races and cultures across the globe. Perhaps it is the usage of Christian dating services on the Internet that has prompted more Christian singles to consider dating Christian singles of other races and from other cultures.

I know of no specific scripture that precludes inter-racial dating for Christian singles. Some might suggest that the instructions in 2 Corinthians 6:14 would apply regarding “unequally yoked”. This would be an inaccurate interpretation of Paul’s words because he was clearly instructing Christians to not marry unbelievers. I know of no interpretation that says differently.

Biblically, I find no instruction that precludes considering inter-racial Christian dating or Christian marriage.

It is without bias that I do make some “practical” suggestions that Christian singles should consider when entertaining dating Christian singles from another race or culture.

· Although the Christian singles dating may be at ease in inter-racial dating, they should be prepared that those around them may not be. There are still locations within the USA, as well as around the world, where even inter-racial Christian dating or Christian marriage is not viewed positively.

· There are cultural aspects that usually relate to each race, which should be given careful consideration by Christian singles engaged in Christian dating. These differences can be easily set-aside by Christian singles during Christian dating, but often become huge items after marriage. If one is considering Christian dating within a specific race other than her or his own race, they should spend a good deal of time in that culture (if applicable) to see how they feel about the differences in a practical sense.

· All of the considerations that apply to building a healthy relationship should be applied when building an inter-racial Christian dating relationship. Understanding family backgrounds and how they apply to future expectations is another major area. This should apply to communication as well – as one thing means something in one part of the world and something quite different in another.

· A very sensitive area for many Christian singles in an inter-racial Christian dating relationship, but one that should be given a good deal of thought before marriage, is future children that the couple desires to have. How will they be raised? Where will they go to church? How will their education and languages be approached? How will you answer their question when they come home and say something like “someone at school said that my parents are different”?

· The roles of men and women differ greatly between races and cultures. This should be another area of consideration, education, and discussion.

There are many happy and successful Christian marriages that come from inter-racial Christian dating relationships. I personally know of several successful inter-racial Christian marriages and cherish these couples' friendship. God should be the guide (and not the internal needs of Christian singles) in finding and building Christian dating relationships. Christian singles should never run ahead of His Spirit’s guiding and make a mistake that will greatly impact a lot of lives. Be open to taking the time to educate yourself – and then your partner in the relationship – so that you are making a wise and mature choice.

I especially like the wisdom found in Proverbs 11:14 “but in the multitude of counselors there is safety”. Every single Christian should have mature, wise Christians of their own gender as accountability partners. These partners should be consulted at every step of consideration for inter-racial dating/marriage.

When a serious relationship develops out of inter-racial Christian dating, additional counsel should be sought with a Christian counselor or Pastor experienced in marital counseling. This suggestion is not given to “doom” the relationship, but to give it every chance to develop and become all that the couple and God desire it to be.

Finally, Christian singles in an inter-racial Christian dating relationship should pay close attention to input from family and close friends. They know us best and their insights can be very helpful to making the best choices for us (if they are Christians).

Racism is not Biblical. According to Colossians 3:11 and also Galatians 3:26-29 all Christians are equal in Christ.

Related Christian articles for singles: Christian Singles: Hurting people hurt others! And: Christian Dating Advice: how to start Dating again? And: Advice for Christian Singles: Should a single Christian woman let a single Christian man know she is interested? And: Christian Singles: "Is it love?" And: Dear Pastor Jim: "Do you expect all Christian singles who want to be married to be happy being single?" And: Christian Dating: "Dear Christian Singles, what Criteria Do You Use for Dating other Christians?" And: Christian Singles, are you Getting the Same Results? And: Is Christianity An Excuse for Christian Singles to Be Passive? And: Finding the Will of God and Making godly Decisions

In His love,
Pastor Jim

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