CHRISTIAN DATING ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES

Christian dating is not an easy “game” and presents its challenges along with hopeful rewards. In Christian dating veryone desires to be valued and to connect with another person. God placed this desire into us, the desire to connect with Him and others. The activity of connection in Christian dating does become a very interesting one to say the least.

I fully understand the thrill of finding another single Christian where there are similar tastes and compatibilities. It makes Christian dating fun. The adrenaline flows as single Christians embrace such an experience. The challenge for single Christians engaged in Christian dating is to not drop one’s guard during such initial times of getting to know another person.

Christian dating is a time when a single Christian presents his or her best side. While for some single Christians it may be misrepresentation, I believe that for most single Christians it is a time of showing the very best they have in hopes of building a permanent bond in a Christian dating relationship.

Have you ever seen a peacock flaunt in front of the opposite gender? The male peacock courts the peahen by converting its colorful tail feathers into a display of beauty. It is a beautiful site – the feathers, not the darn dance!

This reminds me of how humans go about dating. Yes, even how single Christians engage in Christian dating! Whenever we see someone of the opposite gender who is attractive to us, we quickly rustle our best features into showing the very best we have. If you do not think that this is true I invite you to go to the next church activity for single Christians and sit back and watch the action. We seem to have inherited some traits of the peacock in the way we go about trying to impress other single Christians even before a Christian dating relationship comes about.

What does this have to do with Christian dating relationships? Thanks for asking.

I have observed that the first six months of a Christian dating relationship is the “peacock syndrome” period for many single Christians. It is a natural time of doing and being everything that 1) helps you prove to the other single Christian that you are awesome; and 2) you think will please the other single Christian to prove that you are the perfect match. I am not saying that this is wrong, if it is being done naturally and without deception.

The valuable point to remember about the “peacock syndrome” in Christian dating is that this period of time is just that – a showing of your best side and trying hard to not show any flaws. Too often in this early “peacock” period of a Christian dating couples neglect the prudence of time and jump to a hasty conclusion that they are meant for each other and rush into marriage. A few days or weeks later they wake up to find a husband or wife that is very unlike the one they thought they knew in the “peacock” period of a Christian dating.

Enjoy the “peacock” period of a Christian dating relationship, but do not rush into any long-term plans during this period of time. I encourage single Christian couples to take a year or more getting to know one another before they commit to marriage. Allow a long enough period of time in Christian dating to meet all the relatives and friends and for all personality traits to surface.

A good relationship takes time to bond properly. It is work and takes time to mature relationships into marriage. Get beyond the “peacock” period of your Christian dating relationship before making wedding plans. You will be very glad you did. I have many emails either telling me that they are thankful to have received this advice, or sorry that they did not.

In Christian dating show your best stuff and enjoy getting to know other single Christians. But be real and build Christian dating relationships on the total you and not just the “peacock” half.

Related Christian articles for singles: Christian Dating Advice & Safety And: Christian singles, Beauty – Has all to do with dating, but little to do with love! And: Christian dating: "What are the “NORMAL” stages in dating for Christian singles?" And: "What about Christian Dating and Signals?" And: In Christian Dating is Chemistry important or not? And: Christian Singles, are you Getting the Same Results?

In His love,
Pastor Jim

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