CHRISTIAN DATING ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES
Online Christian dating provides the opportunity to meet and get to know many Christian singles at the same time. Is getting to know and meeting several Christian singles considered Christian dating? I think it involves what is being said and the behavior of Christian dating. Allow me to share some thoughts for your consideration.
1. There is nothing wrong with developing more than one friendship. In fact, I encourage Christian singles to use initial interfaces with others as opportunities to make new friends. I doubt that there are very many who actually take this approach. There is a desire in Christian dating to hurry and find the perfect mate so that one can move on with “normal” life.
2. It is not Christian dating when one contacts another person to get to know them.
3. However, if the person connecting with more than one person decides that he or she would like to move to a more intimate time of sharing and getting to know the other person, I believe that they have crossed an emotional line into Christian dating . This is the point of Christian dating where they need to be open and honest if they would like to go to the “next step.” Honesty dictates revealing if they are doing the same thing with other Christian singles. I strongly believe that all Christian singles at this stage need to be aware of the level of interest in Christian dating .
4. If a single Christian says that they want to continue to have the freedom to get to know others AND begin to flow with “intimate” words and/or want to kiss, etc. there is a HUGE red flag waving. This is being inconsiderate of emotional investments that take place in relationship building. If they are not sure that they are not ready to be exclusive in Christian dating , they should not have ANY of the privileges of a Christian dating relationship.
5. The recipient in such cases is often fearful that if they do not play along with the other person’s rules for Christian dating they will quickly be abandoned. Because good Christian dating relationships are challenging to find and develop does not justify placing oneself in the position of being manipulated.
6. I am of the Christian dating school that if there is enough attraction, compatibility, and spiritual blessing to be interested in whether or not there could be a Christian dating relationship, then it is time to step out of the race and find out.
It all boils down to two questions:
1. Why is the person motivated to have multiple interests? Is it a genuine and open effort to earnestly seek the right Christian dating relationship? If it meets this consideration AND the other party agrees, then both Christian singles can proceed with dating multiple people. But Christian dating of this type often results in hurt feelings.
2. How is the person going about this multiple relating or Christian dating? If they are “kissy” with multiple Christian singles or leading multiple people on to think that they are in exclusive Christian dating relationships with them then they are living a lie. They are self-centered and do not make good mates. Count your blessings and move on in your Christian dating walk!
Christian singles are free to enjoy the advantages of online Christian dating, but should be moving carefully and with consideration in relating or dating.
And: Christian dating: "What are the “NORMAL” stages in dating for Christian singles?" And: "What about Christian Dating and Signals?" And: Christian Singles, are you Getting the Same Results? And: In Christian Dating is Chemistry important or not? And: Christian Dating: "A single Christian that I think God has sent to be my mate does not agree, or does not know that I exist. What am I to do?" And: Christian Dating: Do you believe in “soul mates”?
In His love,
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Note: The answers provided in this site are intended to be as one provided by a minister. It is NOT intended to take the place of a licensed counselor. Dr. Rives encourages all who are seeking to resolve deeply rooted psychological, emotional or behavioral needs to seek the services of a trained and licensed counselor. The answers provided in this web site are intended to be words of encouragement and spiritual guidance as one would obtain from a licensed minister as well as the sharing of Dr Rives personal experience. Articles by Dr. Jim Rives used with permission, copyright © 2001-2009 JacobsMinistry.org Inc. (Arizona Non-Profit Corporation) All rights reserved.