CHRISTIAN DATING ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES

When it comes to modern-day Christian dating among modern-day Christian singles, is the word modern-day replacing the word Christian in the dating conduct of many Christian singles? Even on their first date?

First dates are very exciting times for both the man and the woman. Usually several interactions have been made and it has been mutually agreed that “something” is there and they would like to find out more.

Are there any considerations that Christian singles need to make for this first date?

Okay, some funny thoughts are skipping through my head. Yes, before dating the man needs to brush his teeth, clean out the car, and be sure his shirt and pants are clean. The woman likely will clean the house if he is picking her up there and go through the agonizing exercise of what to wear. These are important and must be taken into consideration by Christian singles, but I am thinking of the broader arena for the first date.

It is very troubling to me to receive so many emails from Christian singles where the couple had sex on their first date. Emotions and expectations are high and it “feels good” to be with someone who is FINALLY giving you devoted attention. When the person you are dating just happens to be someone who is attractive to you, that ignites all the buttons and before you know it, they are inside your home and ending the modern-day Christian dating experience in bed.

Setting aside the fact that the Center for Disease Control says on their web site that one of every five adults and teenagers in the USA has a contagious venereal disease AND that the Bible clearly speaks against fornication (sex outside of marriage), in people drop their guard and have sex. If you could sit where I sit and interact with thousands of Christian singles you would quickly see that to have sex in this manner greatly increases the odds that the dating relationship will not succeed. In fact, most women find that they never hear from the man again. Even if they do, their modern-day Christian dating relationship has been built upon a chemical reaction and this becomes the basis for all future interactions. Yes, even among modern-day Christian singles!

I invite Christian singles to consider the following on a first date:

Meet the Christian man or Christian woman in a public setting that is safe for you. A coffee shop or restaurant setting is a good consideration.

Keep the conversation light and focus on the other person. Ask questions that give you insights into who they really are. The fact that you are asking questions will usually really impress the other person. The more that they talk about themselves the more they come away thinking that it was an awesome time and that you really understand them.

How about modern-day Christian double dating: consider going on a first date with a couple that you know well. It will help you with the conversation, and also give you their perspectives on the other person after the experience.

Do not meet them in your home on the first date if at all possible. This is especially true if you have never met this person before and know very little about them. It gives more meaning to the Christian dating experience than perhaps you are ready to give. Safety cannot be overstressed.

Meeting in a public place with your own transportation provides each of you with options. If the Christian dating experience is not going well, you can thank them for their time and leave. If you are in their car, you are stuck and will have to wait for perhaps hours to get out of a bad situation.

First dates are awesome opportunities to get to know other Christian singles. Do not think that these are the first steps down the wedding aisle. Plan ahead so that you both will be able to enjoy the modern-day Christian dating experience without falling into sin. There is an old rule about parties that I believe applies to first dates. A party should end when it is at its height and not drug out until everyone gets to leave. A first date likewise should be built to a great experience and then brought to a close. It builds the desire to want to know about the person more. This is a great way to exit a first date.

Honor and consideration are two valuable guides to use on this first Christian dating experience. Keep this in mind and have a great experience.

Related Christian articles for singles: Christian Dating: Results of a survey on Christian Dating vs. Christian “Courting” And: Christian Dating: What does the Bible teach Christian singles about inter-racial dating? And: Christian Singles: Hurting people hurt others! And: Christian Dating Advice: how to start Dating again? And: Advice for Christian Singles: Should a single Christian woman let a single Christian man know she is interested? And: Christian Singles: "Is it love?" And: Dear Pastor Jim: "Do you expect all Christian singles who want to be married to be happy being single?" And: Christian Dating: "Dear Christian Singles, what Criteria Do You Use for Dating other Christians?" And: Christian Singles, are you Getting the Same Results? And: Is Christianity An Excuse for Christian Singles to Be Passive? And: Finding the Will of God and Making godly Decisions

In His love,
Pastor Jim

Back to Table of Contents: Christian Dating Articles