CHRISTIAN DATING ARTICLES BY DR. JIM RIVES

This question is often received from Christian singles who are recently divorced. It is good to be asking questions as Christian singles build toward a new life – one filled with joy, peace and good health.

There are two major areas that come to mind when considering when Christian singles should begin dating and marry again:

BIBLICAL:

1. Even though the courts of man have said that you are divorced, has God said so? There are only a couple of grounds for divorce according to the Bible. In summary, these are –

a. Matthew 5:32 – if the other spouse committed fornication (sex outside of marriage)

b. 1 Corinthians 7:15 – if the other spouse is not a believer and chooses to leave

2. It is my opinion, that unless there is a “Biblical” divorce, you are not to be dating again, but must remain faithful to your spouse. Pray for them and live your life so that God can have a chance to restore the marriage.

3. IF the divorced spouse chooses to marry again, then I believe that this fits the criteria in Matthew 5 and then you are released to start dating Christian singles and consider marriage – IF God leads you to do so.

EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL/FINANCIAL:

1. The steps that lead up to a divorce leaves all parties involved in a very unhealthy condition. It is very important, let me say again – VERY IMPORTANT that you become as healthy as you can in all areas of your life before you consider dating Christian singles.

2. My personal experience, and after relating to hundreds of Christian singles in similar situations, I strongly encourage divorced Christian singles to spend an extended time with a good Christian counselor. Christian singles are likely unaware of the many things that now influence decision making – both good and bad. If Christian singles do not come to understand the forces at play within their lives, they will likely repeat bad cycles and make poor choices.

3. Even among Christian singles, 70% of second marriages end up in divorce I am told. Do you wish to hurry to more pain?

4. Before you consider Christian dating: set out to build a GREAT buddy system among Christian singles (and married Christian). Building strong relationships with members of your own gender is an essential part of a healthy life. These should be Christians who are a positive influence on your life, as you are to theirs. Seek Christian singles that you enjoy doing things with as well as building accountability to guide you through challenging times.

Christian singles can entertain dating again after you process these two areas and find the complete release from God and other counselors in life. Is this a “tall” order? Yes, but one that greatly ensures your moving toward healthier and more fulfilling days of Christian dating.

Related Christian articles for singles: And also: Should I be dating divorced Christian singles? And: Dear Pastor Jim: How does God relate to divorce? And: Christian singles need not remain loaded down with shame and guilt. Also read: Only God’s Spirit can comfort and guide Christian singles through the difficult times of life. And maybe read: When Christian singles make wise choices for a fresh start, God is faithful to give single Christians what is on their heart. And: Any desperate singles? And: There are many different types of singles who profess to be "Christians." And: Christian Dating: "Dear Christian Singles, what Criteria Do You Use for Dating other Christians?" And: Christian Dating: VCR- style Dating is hurtful And: Christian Dating and Credit Reports And: Christian singles, when it comes to Christian Dating, start with a course called "Breaking Up 101" And: Is Christianity An Excuse for Christian Singles to Be Passive? And: Finding the Will of God and Making godly Decisions

In His love,
Pastor Jim

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Note: The answers provided in this site are intended to be as one provided by a minister. It is NOT intended to take the place of a licensed counselor. Dr. Rives encourages all who are seeking to resolve deeply rooted psychological, emotional or behavioral needs to seek the services of a trained and licensed counselor. The answers provided in this web site are intended to be words of encouragement and spiritual guidance as one would obtain from a licensed minister as well as the sharing of Dr Rives personal experience. Articles by Dr. Jim Rives used with permission, copyright © 2001-2006 JacobsMinistry.org Inc. (Arizona Non-Profit Corporation) All rights reserved.

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